Goodbye Blog People!

The time has come to leave. AWWANL can be found (with one really long blog of my blogs here ) at http://kimbathemighty.blogspot.com
along with all the other escapees.

I hope to see most of you there. To those who aren't escaping with us, I've enjoyed meeting so many people and discussing so many interesting topics.

Thank you for stopping by.

The biggest personal OMG I can think of in recent times...my purse has gone missing!
A week ago, I was at a store, bought everything, and put everything in the car. When I got home I noticed my purse was gone. At first, I thought I'd left in the car or it was in one of the bags. But no, it's no where to be seen.
It's been one of the most unnerving feeling I've ever had. The thought that someone may have taken it while I wasn't looking is disturbing enough, and even if it wasn't taken. The person who found hasn't turned it in or tried to return which seems just as bad.
At first, I tried to think of everything in it (which is harder than it seems...really, try right now to list everything in your purse or wallet). I decided it was alright, everything was replaceable (and was immediately reported of course).
Then I remembered a few things that REALLY bugged me.
1- my spare car keys! That really worries me since they also have my address. Luckily, I don't use house keys so it really is just the car key.
2- my flash drive which had my resume, photos, and my NaNoWriMo novel. Boo! At least I found most of the long-hand still in the folder I was using during November. I just have to retype. But still, some personal information is out there!
3- is more a funny note... I suddenly remembered a card I'd made for myself was in there. “The 13 Ways of a Witch”. I'm sort of curious what reaction that got when it was found.

Overall, things have been replaced already, and mostly, it's been a pretty easy process. I'm still really pissed and bothered that it's gone. But I'm getting over it. (As I said, it'd the personal information being out there that bugs me the most.)
But at least our living room is clean and organized now, since Mom thought it may have still been lost in the house somewhere.
Yay! Silver Lining!

As I said before, I've been having a hard time feeling motivated to do anything anymore. But, I'm trying to pull myself up and 'be as happy as I chose to be”.
So here's a laundry list, or a pros/cons list, or how about a things-aren't-so-bad list...

Whatever it is, I'm going to list my whines and what I see has been bringing me down, but stick around because I'm also finding all the things I'm happy with and see where I end up.

WHINE:
~I'm really missing old friends and FB only seems to make it worse – I feel completely out of the loop. But to add to this is the loneliness I feel here. I've yet to make any friends, and I though I was a part of the community theater production, I've never seen any of them since.
And though I get along very well at work, they are very tight-nit. Most have lunch together, go out after work together and even get families together for activities on the weekends. The few times I've tried to join in (or was invited once by a lady I work next to)- I was met by silence or awkward chatting. It's like being back in grade school as the new kid on the first day.
~I've really not good at my job, and I'm used to being adored at work. This useless feeling is completely foreign to me.
~The only person I talk to and see everyday is Mom – now, this isn't really a bad point – I love Mom more than anything, and we are almost the same person anyway. But who do I talk to about her? About the things we don't have in common? And she doesn't really debate like she used to or keep up with current events.
~I'm far too close to my sister. We do much better with a few 100 miles between us and without me nearby trying to change things. Helping Mom cleaning and organizing. And Mom's getting more enthused about possibly moving, which just pisses Sis off more. But then again, she'll be losing her meal ticket, free storage and free bill pay. (was that catty?)

PROS:
~Since 1st starting to write this one, I've been through the long interview process and yesterday was offered a new job. Much more what I want to do...and will help me continue in this new field I've become interested in. YAY! At the same time I finally quit my bad job (I could hear the sigh of relief on both sides of the desk). But they did ask if I would be able to stay on on a free-lance graphic designer which was the part I loved anyway...so double YAY!
~I'm finding it easier to stay connected with everyone and see what's going on elsewhere. It's not too far to drive & visit for a weekend either. And I can do it without the guilt I used to feel the other way around.
~Mom no longer has to make due with things a certain way just because she isn't able to fix them...
light bulbs out that she can't get to
have less water delivered because she can't switch the bottles (though the Super Nice Hinkley Guy would at least fill up the tank before putting up a new bottle to leave behind)
letting things go such as a hair cut because of weather or feeling tired
~I'm much closer to events and activities I enjoy (now this is another iffy). I always argue that there's 1001 things to do in small towns as long as you look around...and are adventurous. But some of my favorite museums and parks are now closer at hand.
~I'm also getting Mom out to them. She was getting to a place in her mind that told her she couldn't ever see the things she loved again. She even told me at one point that she was glad we'd gone to the Art Institute every year when I was a kid since she'll never be back now. I told her B.S.
Actually, I called the next day and some of the others to get their information about handicap accessibility for her to have in front of her. (Of Course She Can Go!)
Even Brookfield, which actually turned out to be the easiest of them all, but we'll have to wait 'til Spring to go again. I've missed it immensity, too.


Thanks for listening to my complains, life is getting better as the weather gets warmer. (And we dig ourselves out of the mountains of snow since around.) So maybe I was just feeling the Winter blues and soon will feel some Summer pinks.

A year ago, Sunday, we all gathered to celebrate my dad's 63 birthday. It was his last, and that we knew it at the time, was the giant Llama in the room. But the 4 of us, his 2 sisters, and 2 brothers-in-law all squished together in our living room/dinning room to celebrate how long he lived and how hard he'd been fighting.
Mom & I made his favorite dinner, Auntie & Uncle D. brought his favorite dessert- we talked, played games, talked and of course took many pictures.

As this weekend came up, I started thinking about him a lot. (Not to say I don't think about him everyday.) And these past couple of years. I also tried to come up with something to do or a tradition to begin – mainly with Mom. And I realized we haven't talked much about him. His name has come up of course, but never for long conversations about him. So maybe we should just take some time to talk and share stories- much like Samhaim eve. Or something completely distracting like movies, shopping and dinner out. Which actually may not be a bad idea since we both really want to see “The King's Speech”, we don't eat out a lot, and Mom had mentioned she hadn't been to one of her and Dad's favorite places since Dad had stopped chemo. (It was a block away from the center and they went every time he had a session.) I wouldn't want her to only associate it with those times. So I'll have to do some thinking about what to do. And it just feels like we should do something.

UPDATE: Since writing this, my sister's 'mother-in-law' (they're not married) passed away from cancer. The wake is on Sunday with the funeral on Monday. After talking with Mom for a while last night (she's been thinking a lot about this weekend also), we are deciding what we are going to do.

In the meantime, I'm going to light a candle.

Whew! I made it another week!
After some backstabbing, the nicest ultimatum ever and the rudest email, the week ended with a customer calling me stupid. A snowy, icy weekend and...let's do it again! Whee!

So, I've found myself lurking around in a pretty dark place lately. My 1st attempt at writing last week, I found much too evil to post especially after the events the Saturday before last in AZ. But now I feel myself sinking again. So I write this just to update, whine, get things off my shoulders and hopefully find some perspective.

1st of all a couple of weeks ago, I was given the world's nicest ultimatum at work. It went something like ~we'd like to keep you around 'cause you keep filling in in the other departments, but you suck at sales, so start selling at least this amount or it won't be worth paying you.~
At least, that's how I understood it, but as I said, it was put so nicely I felt good after. Though it didn't make anyone buy ads from me.

And the search for something new hath begun...

In the meantime, I had the great distraction of going to IA for a weekend visit. Long talks, Rock Band (I love the drums! Though the new keyboard was fun, too.), more talks, cards and Cheeseburger Chowder in a bread bowl... mmmmm... oh, and more late night/early morning talks.
We never really got around to talking about the major issues which I know are lurking around on both side, but maybe that's not what this trip was about. Besides, just another reason to visit again.

It was only slightly odd being a guest in a place I called home for so long, but that's easily put aside when spending time with all the people I love, doing the things I've missed most lately. Especially since I've been feeling a little lost.

Eventually, I had to say goodbye again (which wasn't near as teary as the 1st time I said it) and had the long drive home to think. Dangerous, I know (I missed my exit!). But I've been missing the friendships, being able to go out and do things, or just sit with a cup of tea and play games or talk. Not that I can't do that now but....well, more about that later.

Oh, but while amid those crazy Iowans, I did get a great phone call which turned into a phone interview for a potential new job. Whee! My resume seems to be splitting in half – the one side for graphic design and now the other leaning toward nursing/personal care. This hopeful is on the later side, away from what I'm doing now. Unfortunately, when I went in for my meeting, it turned out not to be what I expected and want...well, back up- the job is exactly what I expected and want, but the hours will be anywhere from 4-60 hr/week, and I won't know until the week before. If I can't come in any of the times scheduled, I'm done and many other rules which made me wonder how they keep anyone long term. But the benefits and perks sound great. And the interview process is intensive, which is good for the type of job it is. But still, I hope one of the other places gives a call.

I'll finish by saying, I've been sick for the last week. Boo!
Got Mom sick, too. Double Boo!
But we will be well by next week since I got us tickets to see “Chicago”! Whee!

That's how we'll be celebrating the big game on Sunday. (It's what was asked on the news last night...Go Bears! )